Saturday, July 28, 2012

My healing.....

They say that life isn't fair.  I have always said life is what you make of it; that you are in control of your destiny.  God will be there to steer you when you need it.  However sometimes you ignore the direction he is telling you to go and you head down the wrong path.  You get deeper and deeper on that path and you find you just cannot turn around to get back to where you belong and hopefully you stop and ask yourself how can I get back.  Other times you believe you can get back on your own without asking for help because you don't want anyone to know you have lost your way.  

My daughter was on that wrong path and she just could not get back and she did not stop and ask for help.   She thought they were her friends but she could not see that because the demons had a greater hold on her; greater than anyone can imagine.  Unfortunately she left us last month and is now is a better place.   My heart hurts but I know in my mind that I could not help her although I tried. 

Addiction is hell.  There is no other way to describe it.  It is hell for the addict and for the loved ones trying to help and left behind.  Only the addict can take the steps to want to get help and to want to be free and clean of the demons and unless they ask for help everyone else is there to pick up the pieces. 

I know I will get through this....one day at a time.....I miss her smiling face during happier times in her life. 

May God be with you and your family!





6 comments:

  1. Judy,
    Thank you for posting your heart felt story.
    Now easy to share but hopefully part of the healing process.

    I agree, addition is HELL!

    Please know that you are covered with prayers.
    Keep reaching out!

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  2. I love you aunt Judy...
    dee dee

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  3. Oh Judy dear -- I am so sorry. So terribly sorry. Our thoughts are with you... Don't have any words to express myself any better. Please know we care and are thinking of you.

    Sallie and Bill

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  4. Judy, we all are so very sorry and there are just no adequate words. We will hold our sweet memories of Jennifer close. Loved, Missed, Remembered... love you, Theta

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  5. Jude, you are an Amazing Lady, stay strong for you know that God is with you <3

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  6. I somehow missed this post the last time I visited. No one should have to live through something like this and I'm so terribly sorry for your loss. xoxo

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